On the subject of conception, is it that we are blessed with child or is it a conscious decision we make to conceive? many women I have known who are desperately trying to conceive are met with an abundance of hurdles that appear to be preventing the natural process of conception happening. It would appear that the more you think (mental conscience) the more hijacked the women becomes, and the ongoing arrival of the unwanted monthly cycle, seems to bring nothing but dread and upset....furthermore stalling the couple having their much wanted baby....frequently there are no definitive answers and it would appear as soon as the couple stop consciously trying to have a baby, 'voila' there he/she is...implanted in the womb, ready for the journey through to birth some 40 wks later
I think there is nothing more luxurious and gracious than having a relaxed approach to conception, deciding that it is for you both and allowing nature to do the rest, save to say, when medical issues are preventing a pregnancy.....however it is suggested by the medical profession, that the average couple will take up to 12 months to conceive. I am of the approach that if it is meant to be, it will happen, if you are relaxed about the reality of having a baby and enjoy the loving and being loved by your partner, then it makes sense that your body will be accepting to the miracle of pregnancy....
This is the point to cease contraception, obviously everyone to their own and advice should be sought ref, the contraceptive pill and hormone related methods, if a IUD is used then an appointment with your doctor should be made to have it removed.....commence folic acid as recommended by the medical profession 3 months prior to conception and up till 12 weeks of pregnancy, to help the prevention of nural tube defects.
But most of all know that it is right for you and your partner, know that you both are committed and bound, in producing this little miracle and nurturing and protecting him/her through life. Easing your baby into the world, not thrusting him/her into it. knowledge has brought much change and the return of natural nappies, and many organic and natural products allows for a purer essence in which to bathe our babes so to speak and swaddle them in naturalness.it makes sense does it not?...Nurture our babies at the breast and ensure dad has skin to skin contact as much as mum does.....starting from the moment of birth, the fundamental bonding fest...most of all create you baby out of love and bring him/her up secure within that love........
19 November 2007
5 November 2007
Love Foundations (To Share)
Thinking about it....what is love?...................
love is......the rise and fall, the foundation wall, surrounding your world.
The pick me up, when you fall down, then the staying with you without the frown, the replacement glass, after the smash, loving arms,surrounding you at the end of 'that day'....!
The insulation that encapsulates the warmth, the smile that lifts your day, the look that tells you, absolutely,without a doubt, 'it's ok!'... the acceptance and showing the way. it's the hope, the belief the truth, the crowning glory, the highest point the roof.....!
Most of all, it's that special connection, the wonder with fascination, the bud of creation, the being overwhelmed, coupled with, admiration and exhilaration, surrounding each other with inspiration. Dressing up, dressing down, trudging through mud in wellie boots, it's the becoming each other's, without a doubt,.... absolute, foundation, solid roots......!
love is......the rise and fall, the foundation wall, surrounding your world.
The pick me up, when you fall down, then the staying with you without the frown, the replacement glass, after the smash, loving arms,surrounding you at the end of 'that day'....!
The insulation that encapsulates the warmth, the smile that lifts your day, the look that tells you, absolutely,without a doubt, 'it's ok!'... the acceptance and showing the way. it's the hope, the belief the truth, the crowning glory, the highest point the roof.....!
Most of all, it's that special connection, the wonder with fascination, the bud of creation, the being overwhelmed, coupled with, admiration and exhilaration, surrounding each other with inspiration. Dressing up, dressing down, trudging through mud in wellie boots, it's the becoming each other's, without a doubt,.... absolute, foundation, solid roots......!
24 October 2007
Congruence
Congruence (Honesty from within)
Interestingly, people who struggle with finding answers and perceptions within their lives, seek therapists to aid this process. The key to the success of this interaction is the build up of trust between therapist and client.
Fundamentally the honesty within the material that the client reveals or shares! is the true source to improving their lives and the perceptions that are guiding their mind set...However interestingly I have noticed time over with people who claim to be the helpers....! in fact, repeatedly have un resolved issues of their own. Maybe not so within their working roles, but harboured in their own private worlds....it limits individuals growth and abilities to shine, mainly as congruence isn't always met head on.
To ensure you make the best of your abilities, talents and opportunities honesty is essential, be honest with yourself primarily and towards others, and the transition will become evident.We often find ourselves in situations, where we may be faced with opinions that we are uncomfortable with. This is a prime example of how we can be congruent with people... There you are listening to someone rattling off about some far from savoury subject and or having an opinion that is wide of your boundaries....! Perfect is the opportunity to express our feeling or understanding towards the subject...combining UPR (unconditional positive regard) at this point is a good marker and sets a good standing for your congruence.....
What is UPR? the basis of Unconditionl Positive Regard is the distinction between non judgment of the person,so acceptance of them, but addressing unacceptable and
negative behaviour.
.....Take for example the stance that " I don't necessarily agree with your comments and your approach, but obviously I respect your choice of opinion. however this is how I see it and wondered what you felt about that?!" then you are offering truth from your perspective and offering food for thought. that way you tend to leave feeling less "stressed" with comments that are far from your acceptance, yet you have offered an alternative perspective for the speaker to consider. You have expressed your inner feeling. Offered an opportunity for debate and or acceptance of your perspective, thereafter it is out of your control, but you have used congruence to express yourself.
In terms of the wider picture, where I reflect back to my earlier paragraph, it is not honest enough to promote ourselves as open books of positive splendour, when inside we are jostling with unresloved issues, to state that we are confident, then express or expose our lack of self worth or self confidence, is far from our true selves, it cannot be hidden, we become exposed so, take some time to work through the bits you wish to cast to one side, find a way of opening the shutters and letting the sun radiate around you and envelop you...let it's rays reflect off you and in turn bring light to someone else's life and in the meantime, radiate who we are, take charge of your congruence and in turn blossom as the person you want to be..............
The best and most active method of teaching is to show by example,
work with yourself and lead the way in helping others with congruence.
Interestingly, people who struggle with finding answers and perceptions within their lives, seek therapists to aid this process. The key to the success of this interaction is the build up of trust between therapist and client.
Fundamentally the honesty within the material that the client reveals or shares! is the true source to improving their lives and the perceptions that are guiding their mind set...However interestingly I have noticed time over with people who claim to be the helpers....! in fact, repeatedly have un resolved issues of their own. Maybe not so within their working roles, but harboured in their own private worlds....it limits individuals growth and abilities to shine, mainly as congruence isn't always met head on.
To ensure you make the best of your abilities, talents and opportunities honesty is essential, be honest with yourself primarily and towards others, and the transition will become evident.We often find ourselves in situations, where we may be faced with opinions that we are uncomfortable with. This is a prime example of how we can be congruent with people... There you are listening to someone rattling off about some far from savoury subject and or having an opinion that is wide of your boundaries....! Perfect is the opportunity to express our feeling or understanding towards the subject...combining UPR (unconditional positive regard) at this point is a good marker and sets a good standing for your congruence.....
What is UPR? the basis of Unconditionl Positive Regard is the distinction between non judgment of the person,so acceptance of them, but addressing unacceptable and
negative behaviour.
.....Take for example the stance that " I don't necessarily agree with your comments and your approach, but obviously I respect your choice of opinion. however this is how I see it and wondered what you felt about that?!" then you are offering truth from your perspective and offering food for thought. that way you tend to leave feeling less "stressed" with comments that are far from your acceptance, yet you have offered an alternative perspective for the speaker to consider. You have expressed your inner feeling. Offered an opportunity for debate and or acceptance of your perspective, thereafter it is out of your control, but you have used congruence to express yourself.
In terms of the wider picture, where I reflect back to my earlier paragraph, it is not honest enough to promote ourselves as open books of positive splendour, when inside we are jostling with unresloved issues, to state that we are confident, then express or expose our lack of self worth or self confidence, is far from our true selves, it cannot be hidden, we become exposed so, take some time to work through the bits you wish to cast to one side, find a way of opening the shutters and letting the sun radiate around you and envelop you...let it's rays reflect off you and in turn bring light to someone else's life and in the meantime, radiate who we are, take charge of your congruence and in turn blossom as the person you want to be..............
The best and most active method of teaching is to show by example,
work with yourself and lead the way in helping others with congruence.
16 October 2007
The role of a Doula (Trained birthing partner)
I am frequently asked 'what is a dealer?' no dear "I'm a Doula! not a dealer!!" what on earth is that? the dictionary states "mothers maid" one who cares for the mother!! for want of a better explanation a birthing partner offering knowledge, experience, support and nurture to pregnant ladies, their partners and families....including ante-natal/post natal support! I have included in my training specialist areas and top up support packages which, combined with my counselling training and breast feeding counselling, serve to offer an all round reassuring package to would be clients....thus allowing me to work with a variety of clients, with a variety of requirements and expectations!
Fundamentally, I like to build a relationship early on with the mum-to-be and her partner/family, we establish what the expectations are and then I tend to lean towards a 'de-brief' of any earlier birthing experiences, as each birth is unique as is every child conceived! therefore earlier disappointing labours need to be put to rest as much as is possible and trust built between you and the mum, towards a more positive birth outcome, this in my experience comes from the mere presence,of a woman who herself knows what 'she' is experiencing! the more bodily and self aware you are the more assistance you can be to a labouring woman.
Doulas work independently and are not medically trained, therefore we offer no medical advice although we discuss with clients the options laid down by the medical profession. Another vital area within our work, is to ensure the mother and father- to-be, have their birth plans followed through and are given informed choices, should any complications arise. I again have witnessed, interventions, that may not have been accepted, with better information and explanation,
In an ideal world, Doulas' would work with natural births and predominantly choose home births over hospital! I myself have experienced both. preferring and advocating home over hospital, save to say any medical reason that my baby would be in danger and therefore need medical intervention. However, I simply support whatever each individual chooses for themselves, although I feel if you are booking an epidural the minute you walk through the labour ward door, then inevitably your money would probably be best spent at a spa for recouperation, instead of employing my services, which are fundamentally in situ, to take you through a gentler and as near to natural an experience as we can achieve together. Ultimately, I am happy to support ANY type of labour, inclusive of caesarean delivery, As the purpose of my role,alongside, My personal goals, are to work with my clients,alleviating fear and be totally there for the expectant mum, supporting her individual challenges and choices.
Resulting in a more relaxed and enpowered mum, caring for her baby with confidence and dads benefit from the reassurance of an experienced, hand holder by his and his labouring partner's side, encouraging interaction and loving support to welcome his baby with ease into the world.....
Fundamentally, I like to build a relationship early on with the mum-to-be and her partner/family, we establish what the expectations are and then I tend to lean towards a 'de-brief' of any earlier birthing experiences, as each birth is unique as is every child conceived! therefore earlier disappointing labours need to be put to rest as much as is possible and trust built between you and the mum, towards a more positive birth outcome, this in my experience comes from the mere presence,of a woman who herself knows what 'she' is experiencing! the more bodily and self aware you are the more assistance you can be to a labouring woman.
Doulas work independently and are not medically trained, therefore we offer no medical advice although we discuss with clients the options laid down by the medical profession. Another vital area within our work, is to ensure the mother and father- to-be, have their birth plans followed through and are given informed choices, should any complications arise. I again have witnessed, interventions, that may not have been accepted, with better information and explanation,
In an ideal world, Doulas' would work with natural births and predominantly choose home births over hospital! I myself have experienced both. preferring and advocating home over hospital, save to say any medical reason that my baby would be in danger and therefore need medical intervention. However, I simply support whatever each individual chooses for themselves, although I feel if you are booking an epidural the minute you walk through the labour ward door, then inevitably your money would probably be best spent at a spa for recouperation, instead of employing my services, which are fundamentally in situ, to take you through a gentler and as near to natural an experience as we can achieve together. Ultimately, I am happy to support ANY type of labour, inclusive of caesarean delivery, As the purpose of my role,alongside, My personal goals, are to work with my clients,alleviating fear and be totally there for the expectant mum, supporting her individual challenges and choices.
Resulting in a more relaxed and enpowered mum, caring for her baby with confidence and dads benefit from the reassurance of an experienced, hand holder by his and his labouring partner's side, encouraging interaction and loving support to welcome his baby with ease into the world.....
11 October 2007
Shopping Bags...
We have all heard about Modbury in Deven, being the first town in the UK to go completely plastic bag free. www.plasticbagfree.com
This week, Living Coasts in Torquay - a birdlife conservation centre, got a group of volunteers together, along with some scrap material and a few sewing machines and started making reusable shopping bags from a pattern supplied from www.morsbags.com - you can download the instructions and make your own!!! in 20 minutes you can have your very own unique shopping bag!!!
They then gave away the bags to the visitors at the centre, asking them to re-use the bags. Explaining how so many of the plastic bags end up in the sea where birds and other wild life either ingest or get tangled up in them. If we all do our bit, we could soon have a plastic bag free country!!!
This week, Living Coasts in Torquay - a birdlife conservation centre, got a group of volunteers together, along with some scrap material and a few sewing machines and started making reusable shopping bags from a pattern supplied from www.morsbags.com - you can download the instructions and make your own!!! in 20 minutes you can have your very own unique shopping bag!!!
They then gave away the bags to the visitors at the centre, asking them to re-use the bags. Explaining how so many of the plastic bags end up in the sea where birds and other wild life either ingest or get tangled up in them. If we all do our bit, we could soon have a plastic bag free country!!!
8 October 2007
Crevasse participation
Whilst at a party last Saturday I found myself invited into a round of Tarot card reading. Never one to shy away from others opions of what what's around the corner I choose my card.
'Participation' it was headed with. I thougtt I was (participating that is), but read on regardless. Notice the dusk, the end of the light of day and appeciate the setting of the sun, knowing it will soon return. The point was to participate in every moment of the day as if you've just been pulled from a deep ice crevasse to live another day.
'But that'll never happen to me' is often the response to that. But it happened to me twenty-five years ago. During the forty minutes or so I spent jammed down that crevasse I promised myself that if I ever got out of my seemingly hopeless situation that my life would be a bonus and I would appreciate every moment of every day, whatever may happen in life.
I guess the Tarot card was a reminder to me and all of us of the bonus of life, and perhaps to include in in our conscious living ways.
Damian
'Participation' it was headed with. I thougtt I was (participating that is), but read on regardless. Notice the dusk, the end of the light of day and appeciate the setting of the sun, knowing it will soon return. The point was to participate in every moment of the day as if you've just been pulled from a deep ice crevasse to live another day.
'But that'll never happen to me' is often the response to that. But it happened to me twenty-five years ago. During the forty minutes or so I spent jammed down that crevasse I promised myself that if I ever got out of my seemingly hopeless situation that my life would be a bonus and I would appreciate every moment of every day, whatever may happen in life.
I guess the Tarot card was a reminder to me and all of us of the bonus of life, and perhaps to include in in our conscious living ways.
Damian
4 October 2007
Spanish Living
The Spanish have had a conscious living approach for years, especially in southern Spain.
You will be pushed to find an open shop in the midday heat because the Spainish will be tucked up in bed. This is not just because of the punishing heat of southern Spain, but also because it is cool for everyone to be eating tapas and drinking wine at 3am.
This works for everybody, not because it's the law, but because the spanish have long been conscious of there own health and wellbeing and have adjusted their lifestyle to suit.
I have just got back from Marbella and noticed how laid back the Spaniards of the tourist areas are. It's out of peak season now so the reduced number of hoards of drunken Engish tourists may indeed help and one quickly learns the laid back drivers only consider red traffic lights important if the junction being crossed is reasonably busy.
Maybe the change of perception has come about since Spain's release from dictatorship of General Franco in 1975- freedom can certainly help one focus on the important things in life.
You will be pushed to find an open shop in the midday heat because the Spainish will be tucked up in bed. This is not just because of the punishing heat of southern Spain, but also because it is cool for everyone to be eating tapas and drinking wine at 3am.
This works for everybody, not because it's the law, but because the spanish have long been conscious of there own health and wellbeing and have adjusted their lifestyle to suit.
I have just got back from Marbella and noticed how laid back the Spaniards of the tourist areas are. It's out of peak season now so the reduced number of hoards of drunken Engish tourists may indeed help and one quickly learns the laid back drivers only consider red traffic lights important if the junction being crossed is reasonably busy.
Maybe the change of perception has come about since Spain's release from dictatorship of General Franco in 1975- freedom can certainly help one focus on the important things in life.
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