Congruence

Congruence (Honesty from within)
Interestingly, people who struggle with finding answers and perceptions within their lives, seek therapists to aid this process. The key to the success of this interaction is the build up of trust between therapist and client.

Fundamentally the honesty within the material that the client reveals or shares! is the true source to improving their lives and the perceptions that are guiding their mind set...However interestingly I have noticed time over with people who claim to be the helpers....! in fact, repeatedly have un resolved issues of their own. Maybe not so within their working roles, but harboured in their own private worlds....it limits individuals growth and abilities to shine, mainly as congruence isn't always met head on.

To ensure you make the best of your abilities, talents and opportunities honesty is essential, be honest with yourself primarily and towards others, and the transition will become evident.We often find ourselves in situations, where we may be faced with opinions that we are uncomfortable with. This is a prime example of how we can be congruent with people... There you are listening to someone rattling off about some far from savoury subject and or having an opinion that is wide of your boundaries....! Perfect is the opportunity to express our feeling or understanding towards the subject...combining UPR (unconditional positive regard) at this point is a good marker and sets a good standing for your congruence.....

What is UPR? the basis of Unconditionl Positive Regard is the distinction between non judgment of the person,so acceptance of them, but addressing unacceptable and
negative behaviour.

.....Take for example the stance that " I don't necessarily agree with your comments and your approach, but obviously I respect your choice of opinion. however this is how I see it and wondered what you felt about that?!" then you are offering truth from your perspective and offering food for thought. that way you tend to leave feeling less "stressed" with comments that are far from your acceptance, yet you have offered an alternative perspective for the speaker to consider. You have expressed your inner feeling. Offered an opportunity for debate and or acceptance of your perspective, thereafter it is out of your control, but you have used congruence to express yourself.

In terms of the wider picture, where I reflect back to my earlier paragraph, it is not honest enough to promote ourselves as open books of positive splendour, when inside we are jostling with unresloved issues, to state that we are confident, then express or expose our lack of self worth or self confidence, is far from our true selves, it cannot be hidden, we become exposed so, take some time to work through the bits you wish to cast to one side, find a way of opening the shutters and letting the sun radiate around you and envelop you...let it's rays reflect off you and in turn bring light to someone else's life and in the meantime, radiate who we are, take charge of your congruence and in turn blossom as the person you want to be..............

The best and most active method of teaching is to show by example,
work with yourself and lead the way in helping others with congruence.