24 June 2013
11 November 2009
THE WISDOM OF A 4-YEAR OLD
"Switch it off and switch it on again"
On a recent trip to see my family, I was talking to my brother about computers and how they can sometimes cause a huge amount of stress when they go wrong. My brother told me, his 4-year old Grandson (my Great Nephew, Joe) had the perfect solution. As we discussed this, it occurred to me it wasn't only a brilliant solution for computers, but a great lesson in life and in positive Stress Management. What was it that he said?
Well, as you know, computers can be a wonderful asset, but sometimes when they go wrong, the only solution is (in Joe's words) to "Switch it off and switch it on again". Often when the computer reboots, it works perfectly and can be the quickest solution to the problem.
Sometimes when we start to feel angry, upset, stressed or overwhelmed, we also need to follow the same advice. We need to put a bit of space between ourselves and what we feel, so that we can come up with a calm, rational solution to whatever's going on in our lives. We too need to reboot.
Our bodies are designed to balance periods of activity with periods of inactivity and this gives both our physical and mental wellbeing a boost. This is why we often come up with our best solutions when we're not trying to 'fix' a situation.
So next time you're feeling under pressure, upset and about to explode, follow Joe's advice :
Switch it off
Take some time to remove yourself from the situation which is upsetting or aggravating you and making you feel off-balance. Take a walk round the block, take a few days away, go and do some exercise, do some meditation, work with a breathing & relaxation CD or switch the task you're working on. If you need to, get some advice from someone you trust to give you honest, open and unbiased feedback.
Use deep breathing where you draw the breath deep down into the lungs and expand the diaphragm and, as you breath out, let go of whatever it is that is bothering you and send any negative energy down into the earth to be neutralised. When we slow down our breathing, we also calm down our heart rate, respiratory rate and release tension.
Switch it on again
When you've had time to calm down and think things through rationally and peacefully, come back to the issue you were working with, giving it new, more positive energy and with a view to finding positive solutions. You may not be in control of every situation, but you are in control of how you deal with it.
So, when the going gets tough, give yourself time to relax and reboot.
If you have any feedback or questions about this or any other Breathing Space article, please feel free to contact me by phone or email. I'm always happy to hear from you.
IF YOU SOMETIMES STRUGGLE TO MAINTAIN YOUR EQUILIBRIUM AND NEED TO DOWNLOAD IN A RISK-FREE, NON-JUDGMENTAL ENVIRONMENT, please contact Annie Lawler on 0772 581 8884. You can also reach me on annie@breathingspacetherapies.com
On a recent trip to see my family, I was talking to my brother about computers and how they can sometimes cause a huge amount of stress when they go wrong. My brother told me, his 4-year old Grandson (my Great Nephew, Joe) had the perfect solution. As we discussed this, it occurred to me it wasn't only a brilliant solution for computers, but a great lesson in life and in positive Stress Management. What was it that he said?
Well, as you know, computers can be a wonderful asset, but sometimes when they go wrong, the only solution is (in Joe's words) to "Switch it off and switch it on again". Often when the computer reboots, it works perfectly and can be the quickest solution to the problem.
Sometimes when we start to feel angry, upset, stressed or overwhelmed, we also need to follow the same advice. We need to put a bit of space between ourselves and what we feel, so that we can come up with a calm, rational solution to whatever's going on in our lives. We too need to reboot.
Our bodies are designed to balance periods of activity with periods of inactivity and this gives both our physical and mental wellbeing a boost. This is why we often come up with our best solutions when we're not trying to 'fix' a situation.
So next time you're feeling under pressure, upset and about to explode, follow Joe's advice :
Switch it off
Take some time to remove yourself from the situation which is upsetting or aggravating you and making you feel off-balance. Take a walk round the block, take a few days away, go and do some exercise, do some meditation, work with a breathing & relaxation CD or switch the task you're working on. If you need to, get some advice from someone you trust to give you honest, open and unbiased feedback.
Use deep breathing where you draw the breath deep down into the lungs and expand the diaphragm and, as you breath out, let go of whatever it is that is bothering you and send any negative energy down into the earth to be neutralised. When we slow down our breathing, we also calm down our heart rate, respiratory rate and release tension.
Switch it on again
When you've had time to calm down and think things through rationally and peacefully, come back to the issue you were working with, giving it new, more positive energy and with a view to finding positive solutions. You may not be in control of every situation, but you are in control of how you deal with it.
So, when the going gets tough, give yourself time to relax and reboot.
If you have any feedback or questions about this or any other Breathing Space article, please feel free to contact me by phone or email. I'm always happy to hear from you.
IF YOU SOMETIMES STRUGGLE TO MAINTAIN YOUR EQUILIBRIUM AND NEED TO DOWNLOAD IN A RISK-FREE, NON-JUDGMENTAL ENVIRONMENT, please contact Annie Lawler on 0772 581 8884. You can also reach me on annie@breathingspacetherapies.com
12 March 2008
Simple Pleasures!
I returned to simple pleasures while reading a childs story book to my, mum, then another, and another. time elapsed, when from the sitting room, I heard my son declare "my favourite is the one where the mum holds her son and looks out at the stars!" my son is 14! yet he recalls one of his favourite children's stories and fondley remembers the words.....in fact it isn't a mother and her son, it is two animals one big one small! where the theme is 'love never dies' yet in his mind as a child, he had created the characters to be a mum and her son, (that's us that is!)
It moved me to know that in the struggle to raise our children and protect them from the less desirable aspects of modern life, he had held on to the simple pleasures and memories of his bedtime stories as a small child, it reminded me to ensure I invest in this precious commodity and read to my grandson as often as possible, even though he is only 3 months old, already he relaxes in my arms and watches the pages as i tell him all about it! the investment of reading is not only a simple pleasure, it's a time for bonding and sharing of knowledge for life.
It moved me to know that in the struggle to raise our children and protect them from the less desirable aspects of modern life, he had held on to the simple pleasures and memories of his bedtime stories as a small child, it reminded me to ensure I invest in this precious commodity and read to my grandson as often as possible, even though he is only 3 months old, already he relaxes in my arms and watches the pages as i tell him all about it! the investment of reading is not only a simple pleasure, it's a time for bonding and sharing of knowledge for life.
19 November 2007
Conscious Conception
On the subject of conception, is it that we are blessed with child or is it a conscious decision we make to conceive? many women I have known who are desperately trying to conceive are met with an abundance of hurdles that appear to be preventing the natural process of conception happening. It would appear that the more you think (mental conscience) the more hijacked the women becomes, and the ongoing arrival of the unwanted monthly cycle, seems to bring nothing but dread and upset....furthermore stalling the couple having their much wanted baby....frequently there are no definitive answers and it would appear as soon as the couple stop consciously trying to have a baby, 'voila' there he/she is...implanted in the womb, ready for the journey through to birth some 40 wks later
I think there is nothing more luxurious and gracious than having a relaxed approach to conception, deciding that it is for you both and allowing nature to do the rest, save to say, when medical issues are preventing a pregnancy.....however it is suggested by the medical profession, that the average couple will take up to 12 months to conceive. I am of the approach that if it is meant to be, it will happen, if you are relaxed about the reality of having a baby and enjoy the loving and being loved by your partner, then it makes sense that your body will be accepting to the miracle of pregnancy....
This is the point to cease contraception, obviously everyone to their own and advice should be sought ref, the contraceptive pill and hormone related methods, if a IUD is used then an appointment with your doctor should be made to have it removed.....commence folic acid as recommended by the medical profession 3 months prior to conception and up till 12 weeks of pregnancy, to help the prevention of nural tube defects.
But most of all know that it is right for you and your partner, know that you both are committed and bound, in producing this little miracle and nurturing and protecting him/her through life. Easing your baby into the world, not thrusting him/her into it. knowledge has brought much change and the return of natural nappies, and many organic and natural products allows for a purer essence in which to bathe our babes so to speak and swaddle them in naturalness.it makes sense does it not?...Nurture our babies at the breast and ensure dad has skin to skin contact as much as mum does.....starting from the moment of birth, the fundamental bonding fest...most of all create you baby out of love and bring him/her up secure within that love........
I think there is nothing more luxurious and gracious than having a relaxed approach to conception, deciding that it is for you both and allowing nature to do the rest, save to say, when medical issues are preventing a pregnancy.....however it is suggested by the medical profession, that the average couple will take up to 12 months to conceive. I am of the approach that if it is meant to be, it will happen, if you are relaxed about the reality of having a baby and enjoy the loving and being loved by your partner, then it makes sense that your body will be accepting to the miracle of pregnancy....
This is the point to cease contraception, obviously everyone to their own and advice should be sought ref, the contraceptive pill and hormone related methods, if a IUD is used then an appointment with your doctor should be made to have it removed.....commence folic acid as recommended by the medical profession 3 months prior to conception and up till 12 weeks of pregnancy, to help the prevention of nural tube defects.
But most of all know that it is right for you and your partner, know that you both are committed and bound, in producing this little miracle and nurturing and protecting him/her through life. Easing your baby into the world, not thrusting him/her into it. knowledge has brought much change and the return of natural nappies, and many organic and natural products allows for a purer essence in which to bathe our babes so to speak and swaddle them in naturalness.it makes sense does it not?...Nurture our babies at the breast and ensure dad has skin to skin contact as much as mum does.....starting from the moment of birth, the fundamental bonding fest...most of all create you baby out of love and bring him/her up secure within that love........
5 November 2007
Love Foundations (To Share)
Thinking about it....what is love?...................
love is......the rise and fall, the foundation wall, surrounding your world.
The pick me up, when you fall down, then the staying with you without the frown, the replacement glass, after the smash, loving arms,surrounding you at the end of 'that day'....!
The insulation that encapsulates the warmth, the smile that lifts your day, the look that tells you, absolutely,without a doubt, 'it's ok!'... the acceptance and showing the way. it's the hope, the belief the truth, the crowning glory, the highest point the roof.....!
Most of all, it's that special connection, the wonder with fascination, the bud of creation, the being overwhelmed, coupled with, admiration and exhilaration, surrounding each other with inspiration. Dressing up, dressing down, trudging through mud in wellie boots, it's the becoming each other's, without a doubt,.... absolute, foundation, solid roots......!
love is......the rise and fall, the foundation wall, surrounding your world.
The pick me up, when you fall down, then the staying with you without the frown, the replacement glass, after the smash, loving arms,surrounding you at the end of 'that day'....!
The insulation that encapsulates the warmth, the smile that lifts your day, the look that tells you, absolutely,without a doubt, 'it's ok!'... the acceptance and showing the way. it's the hope, the belief the truth, the crowning glory, the highest point the roof.....!
Most of all, it's that special connection, the wonder with fascination, the bud of creation, the being overwhelmed, coupled with, admiration and exhilaration, surrounding each other with inspiration. Dressing up, dressing down, trudging through mud in wellie boots, it's the becoming each other's, without a doubt,.... absolute, foundation, solid roots......!
24 October 2007
Congruence
Congruence (Honesty from within)
Interestingly, people who struggle with finding answers and perceptions within their lives, seek therapists to aid this process. The key to the success of this interaction is the build up of trust between therapist and client.
Fundamentally the honesty within the material that the client reveals or shares! is the true source to improving their lives and the perceptions that are guiding their mind set...However interestingly I have noticed time over with people who claim to be the helpers....! in fact, repeatedly have un resolved issues of their own. Maybe not so within their working roles, but harboured in their own private worlds....it limits individuals growth and abilities to shine, mainly as congruence isn't always met head on.
To ensure you make the best of your abilities, talents and opportunities honesty is essential, be honest with yourself primarily and towards others, and the transition will become evident.We often find ourselves in situations, where we may be faced with opinions that we are uncomfortable with. This is a prime example of how we can be congruent with people... There you are listening to someone rattling off about some far from savoury subject and or having an opinion that is wide of your boundaries....! Perfect is the opportunity to express our feeling or understanding towards the subject...combining UPR (unconditional positive regard) at this point is a good marker and sets a good standing for your congruence.....
What is UPR? the basis of Unconditionl Positive Regard is the distinction between non judgment of the person,so acceptance of them, but addressing unacceptable and
negative behaviour.
.....Take for example the stance that " I don't necessarily agree with your comments and your approach, but obviously I respect your choice of opinion. however this is how I see it and wondered what you felt about that?!" then you are offering truth from your perspective and offering food for thought. that way you tend to leave feeling less "stressed" with comments that are far from your acceptance, yet you have offered an alternative perspective for the speaker to consider. You have expressed your inner feeling. Offered an opportunity for debate and or acceptance of your perspective, thereafter it is out of your control, but you have used congruence to express yourself.
In terms of the wider picture, where I reflect back to my earlier paragraph, it is not honest enough to promote ourselves as open books of positive splendour, when inside we are jostling with unresloved issues, to state that we are confident, then express or expose our lack of self worth or self confidence, is far from our true selves, it cannot be hidden, we become exposed so, take some time to work through the bits you wish to cast to one side, find a way of opening the shutters and letting the sun radiate around you and envelop you...let it's rays reflect off you and in turn bring light to someone else's life and in the meantime, radiate who we are, take charge of your congruence and in turn blossom as the person you want to be..............
The best and most active method of teaching is to show by example,
work with yourself and lead the way in helping others with congruence.
Interestingly, people who struggle with finding answers and perceptions within their lives, seek therapists to aid this process. The key to the success of this interaction is the build up of trust between therapist and client.
Fundamentally the honesty within the material that the client reveals or shares! is the true source to improving their lives and the perceptions that are guiding their mind set...However interestingly I have noticed time over with people who claim to be the helpers....! in fact, repeatedly have un resolved issues of their own. Maybe not so within their working roles, but harboured in their own private worlds....it limits individuals growth and abilities to shine, mainly as congruence isn't always met head on.
To ensure you make the best of your abilities, talents and opportunities honesty is essential, be honest with yourself primarily and towards others, and the transition will become evident.We often find ourselves in situations, where we may be faced with opinions that we are uncomfortable with. This is a prime example of how we can be congruent with people... There you are listening to someone rattling off about some far from savoury subject and or having an opinion that is wide of your boundaries....! Perfect is the opportunity to express our feeling or understanding towards the subject...combining UPR (unconditional positive regard) at this point is a good marker and sets a good standing for your congruence.....
What is UPR? the basis of Unconditionl Positive Regard is the distinction between non judgment of the person,so acceptance of them, but addressing unacceptable and
negative behaviour.
.....Take for example the stance that " I don't necessarily agree with your comments and your approach, but obviously I respect your choice of opinion. however this is how I see it and wondered what you felt about that?!" then you are offering truth from your perspective and offering food for thought. that way you tend to leave feeling less "stressed" with comments that are far from your acceptance, yet you have offered an alternative perspective for the speaker to consider. You have expressed your inner feeling. Offered an opportunity for debate and or acceptance of your perspective, thereafter it is out of your control, but you have used congruence to express yourself.
In terms of the wider picture, where I reflect back to my earlier paragraph, it is not honest enough to promote ourselves as open books of positive splendour, when inside we are jostling with unresloved issues, to state that we are confident, then express or expose our lack of self worth or self confidence, is far from our true selves, it cannot be hidden, we become exposed so, take some time to work through the bits you wish to cast to one side, find a way of opening the shutters and letting the sun radiate around you and envelop you...let it's rays reflect off you and in turn bring light to someone else's life and in the meantime, radiate who we are, take charge of your congruence and in turn blossom as the person you want to be..............
The best and most active method of teaching is to show by example,
work with yourself and lead the way in helping others with congruence.
16 October 2007
The role of a Doula (Trained birthing partner)
I am frequently asked 'what is a dealer?' no dear "I'm a Doula! not a dealer!!" what on earth is that? the dictionary states "mothers maid" one who cares for the mother!! for want of a better explanation a birthing partner offering knowledge, experience, support and nurture to pregnant ladies, their partners and families....including ante-natal/post natal support! I have included in my training specialist areas and top up support packages which, combined with my counselling training and breast feeding counselling, serve to offer an all round reassuring package to would be clients....thus allowing me to work with a variety of clients, with a variety of requirements and expectations!
Fundamentally, I like to build a relationship early on with the mum-to-be and her partner/family, we establish what the expectations are and then I tend to lean towards a 'de-brief' of any earlier birthing experiences, as each birth is unique as is every child conceived! therefore earlier disappointing labours need to be put to rest as much as is possible and trust built between you and the mum, towards a more positive birth outcome, this in my experience comes from the mere presence,of a woman who herself knows what 'she' is experiencing! the more bodily and self aware you are the more assistance you can be to a labouring woman.
Doulas work independently and are not medically trained, therefore we offer no medical advice although we discuss with clients the options laid down by the medical profession. Another vital area within our work, is to ensure the mother and father- to-be, have their birth plans followed through and are given informed choices, should any complications arise. I again have witnessed, interventions, that may not have been accepted, with better information and explanation,
In an ideal world, Doulas' would work with natural births and predominantly choose home births over hospital! I myself have experienced both. preferring and advocating home over hospital, save to say any medical reason that my baby would be in danger and therefore need medical intervention. However, I simply support whatever each individual chooses for themselves, although I feel if you are booking an epidural the minute you walk through the labour ward door, then inevitably your money would probably be best spent at a spa for recouperation, instead of employing my services, which are fundamentally in situ, to take you through a gentler and as near to natural an experience as we can achieve together. Ultimately, I am happy to support ANY type of labour, inclusive of caesarean delivery, As the purpose of my role,alongside, My personal goals, are to work with my clients,alleviating fear and be totally there for the expectant mum, supporting her individual challenges and choices.
Resulting in a more relaxed and enpowered mum, caring for her baby with confidence and dads benefit from the reassurance of an experienced, hand holder by his and his labouring partner's side, encouraging interaction and loving support to welcome his baby with ease into the world.....
Fundamentally, I like to build a relationship early on with the mum-to-be and her partner/family, we establish what the expectations are and then I tend to lean towards a 'de-brief' of any earlier birthing experiences, as each birth is unique as is every child conceived! therefore earlier disappointing labours need to be put to rest as much as is possible and trust built between you and the mum, towards a more positive birth outcome, this in my experience comes from the mere presence,of a woman who herself knows what 'she' is experiencing! the more bodily and self aware you are the more assistance you can be to a labouring woman.
Doulas work independently and are not medically trained, therefore we offer no medical advice although we discuss with clients the options laid down by the medical profession. Another vital area within our work, is to ensure the mother and father- to-be, have their birth plans followed through and are given informed choices, should any complications arise. I again have witnessed, interventions, that may not have been accepted, with better information and explanation,
In an ideal world, Doulas' would work with natural births and predominantly choose home births over hospital! I myself have experienced both. preferring and advocating home over hospital, save to say any medical reason that my baby would be in danger and therefore need medical intervention. However, I simply support whatever each individual chooses for themselves, although I feel if you are booking an epidural the minute you walk through the labour ward door, then inevitably your money would probably be best spent at a spa for recouperation, instead of employing my services, which are fundamentally in situ, to take you through a gentler and as near to natural an experience as we can achieve together. Ultimately, I am happy to support ANY type of labour, inclusive of caesarean delivery, As the purpose of my role,alongside, My personal goals, are to work with my clients,alleviating fear and be totally there for the expectant mum, supporting her individual challenges and choices.
Resulting in a more relaxed and enpowered mum, caring for her baby with confidence and dads benefit from the reassurance of an experienced, hand holder by his and his labouring partner's side, encouraging interaction and loving support to welcome his baby with ease into the world.....
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